We now have to fund-raise to solve my girlfriend’s seizures

Some of you may be aware of my girlfriend Nicola Jeffery’s story. Many will be aware of her seizures. Now I believe I may have worked them out. But it’s going to cost to prove this. And we need some financial help from the public.

A complex picture

You can read all about Nicola’s medical story here. In short, she lives with:

I gave up work full time to support Nicola. You can read more about that decision here. In short, we are currently on a complex treatment plan for the ME. This is starting to show some results, with improvements across various clinical measures. But progress is slow.

What we still haven’t got to the bottom of are Nicola’s seizures.

Seizures: blighting her life

This is one of them:

She had one this morning (Wednesday). They have blighted her life for many years and no neurologist can work out what’s causing them.

At first, she was told she was waking up incontinent and in severe pain due to the birth of her child, and her now incorrect diagnosis of Fibromyalgia. Her previous partner witnessed a few of them. Her son, a toddler at the time, even had to call an ambulance during one episode.

But since we have been together, I have documented them fully.

Debilitating

The challenge for Nicola is multi-stranded. She lives with ME and hEDS, which makes her muscles weak and prone to exhaustion after exertion. Having a seizure, where her whole body contorts and strains, has a devastating effect on her. It leaves her effectively incapacitated for up to five days.

They severely impact her already damaged cognitive function. She has chipped many of her teeth and due to the hEDS her bottom front ones are now extremely loose. Moreover, she is of course at risk of Sudden Unexpected Death in Epilepsy (SUDEP).

Now, I think I know what is causing them. But to get it properly diagnosed, we’re going to need some help. This is in the hope that we can rid Nicola of one of the most distressing aspects of her illnesses.

My theory

In short, she lives with Hypocapnia, also known has Hypocarbia. This is essentially below-normal levels of carbon dioxide (CO²) in her blood. We discovered this during a two-day Cardiopulmonary Exercise Test (CPET).

Hypocapnia has two major effects. It firstly reduces arterial blood pressure. We know Nicola’s blood pressure is already hypotensive. Secondly, it causes Respiratory Alkalosis, where the blood becomes too alkaline. Normally, Hypocapnia is caused by hyperventilation. But due to the CPET testing in Nicola’s case we know this is not the cause.

What I think it happening to Nicola is the following:

  • Her mitochondria dysfunction, Chronotropic Incompetence and Megaloblastic Anaemia are causing cardio and pulmonary dysfunction. We know from various testing, for example, that Nicola’s mitochondria fail on minimal exertion and that her red blood cells do not carry oxygen around her body correctly.
  • Specifically, she has Ventilation/Perfusion Mismatch, where a part of her lungs get oxygen without blood flow or blood flow without oxygen.
  • This results in Hypocapnia.
  • It then causes her blood pressure to drop extremely low, probably due to vasodilation. It also causes her blood to become very alkaline.
  • The knock on effect is restricted blood flow to her brain. This is known as Cerebral Hypoperfusion.
  • This vasoconstriction leads to the seizures, both the focal autonomic aware and tonic clonic ones.

We know there is a link with her blood pressure. I’ve identified that the night before she has a seizure, her systolic/diastolic blood pressures drop by, on average, 8% and 19% respectively.

So, we can now predict when she will have one or both of her seizures. But I do not have definite answers.

Another long journey

To get these, and finally rid her of these distressing episodes, we will need to find a neurologist, cardiologist, haematologist and pulmonary expert who are willing and open minded enough to do all the necessary testing. It will involve more blood tests, and numerous diagnostics the night before, during and after a seizure.

None of this, from my theoretical diagnosis to the investigatory work, is available on the NHS. Nicola’s seizures have already been labelled “psychosomatic” and “functional” (ie. all in her head) by several neurologists. We will not get help there.

Most of Nicola’s treatment is now private, due to the lack of recognition and clinical care for her illnesses on the NHS. You can read more about that here. We currently have the money to fund this.

But to investigate Nicola’s seizures fully we need help. It’s an unbudgeted expense in her treatment plan.

We need your help

So, we are asking people to donate via my PayPal to support us in trying to get to the bottom of this. Once I have an idea of cost I’ll publish this. I know a standard consultant appointment will be at least £250-£300.

We both understand how hard things are for many people at present. But anything you can donate would be greatly appreciated.

Nicola’s life has been blighted by chronic ill health for too long. If we can solve her seizures, then one aspect of her complex and debilitating medical picture will finally be resolved.

I want to give her some quality of life back. But I need your help to do it. Please donate what you can below.
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Happy Easter. Unless you’re living with ME.

Chocolate eggs? No. A roast dinner with the whole family around the table? No. Binge-watching movies on the sofa? No. Going out drinking and partying? No.

Happy Easter for many of you, I’m sure. But not if you’re living with an illness that’s ‘all in your head’.

Myalgic encephalomyelitis

As I previously wrote for The Canary:

Myalgic encephalomyelitis, commonly referred to as ME, is a chronic systemic neuroimmune disease. It affects an estimated 17 million people worldwide and around 250,000 people in the UK. While symptoms vary for every person, people living with it often experience:

  • A worsening of symptoms brought on by physical activities, mental activities, or both. Often referred to as post-exertional malaise.
  • Flu-like symptoms.
  • All-over pain.
  • Sleep disturbance / problems.
  • Cognitive impairments.
  • Impairments of the body’s autonomic systems, such as nervous, digestive, and endocrine.
  • Hypersensitivity.

But ME has been fraught with controversy. For decades (and often still to this day), the medical profession has not properly recognised it. People living with ME have been disbelievedstigmatised, given incorrect treatment, or told it’s ‘all in their heads’.

You can read my full body of work for The Canary on ME here.

Nicola’s story

As I’ve previously written, my girlfriend Nicola Jeffery lives with ME, along with a host (now ten in total, as it happens) of other conditions, diseases and illnesses:

She is also now under clinical investigation for:

• Hypothyroidism.
Sheehan’s Syndrome [pdf].
Hypochlorhydria.
Chronotropic Intolerance.

I’ve written extensively about her story to this point. You can read that work here.

So, what does our Easter look like? Probably a world away from many people’s. But also very similar to Easter for millions of chronically ill people.

Just another week in the Jeffery-Topple household

Around 5am on Wednesday 17 April Nic started vomiting. This was followed by diarrhoea. This continued until around 2:30am on Thursday. For the rest of the day she fell in and out of sleep. It’s now Friday 19 April at 1:30pm and she’s eating something for the first time since Tuesday. But only half managed it and has gone back to bed.

Her blood pressure fell to 78/33 at one point, which is worryingly low. During this time she also had three suspected focal seizures. I say “suspected” because no medical professional is able to explain what they are, except they present like them. No tonic clonic this time, though. So we’re grateful for small mercies.

“Why didn’t you call an ambulance?” I hear you scream down your devices.

For numerous reasons. Not least because this bout of unexplained sickness has happened countless times before. But also because we know that a hospital would do little that we weren’t doing at home. In fact, they may in the long term have made the situation worse. If you’re wondering why I think that, check out the reasons why we’ve switched to a paleo-keto diet. All will be revealed. Plus the likelihood of mental health being brought into the equation. Our glorious NHS, hey…?

We’re now weaning her back onto food, and will start reintroducing the 17 different tablets/oral/intravenous solutions she’s on a day, in time.

So, Easter has gone out of the window for us. But for Nic, and millions of people like her, it was never actually in the window in the first place.

Sunday roast? No chance.

If you’re non-disabled, you probably relish the thought of a huge Sunday roast with all the family. If you’re living with ME this could be your worst nightmare.

Maybe explain to people why you can’t eat half the food on your plate due to your socially damaging, highly restrictive diet.

Try eating all that when you have impaired digestive transit. Or if you’re struggling to swallow. Maybe if you have hypersensitivity to taste.

Also, try eating all of that while numerous people talk around a table and you’re hypersensitive to sound. Then try it when your cognitive function is so impaired you can barely follow one person in conversation, let alone a whole group of people.

This, of course, all presumes your family hasn’t effectively disowned you because they think your illness is ‘all in your head’ and you just need to ‘pull yourself together’.

Enjoy your lamb.

Easter eggs? Jokes.

If you’re non-disabled, the best part of Easter may be chocolate eggs. If you’re living with ME, they could be torturous for you.

Histamine intolerance may mean you can’t even eat chocolate. Mast cell activation syndrome could mean it will trigger an allergic reaction in you. And if you’re on a socially damaging, highly restrictive diet, we’re back to the sugar problem again.

Meanwhile, you have to have the strength in your hands to remove the foil wrapping and then break the chocolate in the first place.

All that of course assumes that you even have the money to buy Easter eggs. Try getting the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) to give you benefits when your condition is still considered part-psychological by much of the medical community.

Hope you have a good sugar rush.

Binge TV? Out of the question.

If you’re non-disabled, you many plot yourself on the sofa and watch endless movies for much of the weekend. If you’re living with ME, this could be near-impossible.

Try being in any other position except lying down for a long period of time when every part of your body aches, you feel like your walking under water and you have a constant fog of light headedness.

Maybe try and sustain your concentration for more than just the news when your cognitive function is so impaired you can’t remember what the weather is going to be like from one day to the next.

Then have a go at enjoying a film when the slightest laugh, scream or groan from people feels like the noise of a high speed train right next to you. And throw in the noise of the television and the strain on your eyes for good measure.

I do hope you have fun watching your Hollywood brain-bleach.

Get ready to party? Not here.

If you’re non-disabled, you may go out over Easter to the pub or a club. Or, like me and Nic were, put on the guest list for a concert by a rapper like Lowkey. If you’re non-disabled, this would be impossible.

Attempt to get showered and dressed when your body is so weak that even going to the toilet exhausts you for hours afterwards. Try putting your make up on when your hand to eye coordination is screwed. Not that you’d be able to sustain the holding up of your arms for that long, anyway.

Try drinking alcohol when you know it will leave you even more bed-bound than you were already. Oh, and try affording alcohol under the DWP.

Maybe you’d like to go to a venue where there are going to be hundreds or thousands of other people, exposing you to their germs, which could make you seriously ill. Hundreds or thousands of people all ready to brush past you or bump into you, but in doing so leaving you in agony.

Or try dealing with the same issues you had eating your Sunday roast with a small group of people all in intense conversation – but multiply it by hundreds and throw in extremely loud music for good measure.

Oh, and try all of this when you can’t use public transport due to the infection risk, the danger of physical damage and the lack of accessibility for chronically, invisibly ill people. And if you want to try and get a taxi to and from where you’re going to, we’re back to the DWP issue again.

I hope your hangover is worth it.

Happy Easter.

Ultimately, try doing all of these things when you constantly feel like you have the flu, never have any energy nor have the cognitive function to decide whether to even do them or not.

Then try doing them when much of the medical profession and state systems disbelieve you, leaving you with no support except other people in exactly the same boat. Even friends and family will only tolerate your inconsistency, the consuming nature of your disease and your inability to do what most people consider ‘normal’ for so long. Gradually, knocks don’t appear at the door. The phone slowly stops ringing. Messages are left unreplied to.

And ultimately, trying doing all of this with the overwhelming feelings of guilt your disease leaves you with.

So, no. There is no Happy Easter for millions of chronically ill, disabled and sick people. There’s just another long weekend, spent fighting not only their own bodies but also a system and society that’s not designed for them to fit in to. Let alone live in.

I’ve given up writing full time to support Nic. Most of her medical treatment now has to be private; a challenge in itself with no income.

If you want to support us on this journey, or if you like my writing, any gifts/donations are gratefully accepted below. Thank you.
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Don’t be fooled: PACE trial was an abusive war on chronically ill and disabled people

This is the third of three articles on the subject of myalgic encephalomyelitis (ME, ME/CFS, chronic fatigue syndrome) and a current media campaign which is targeting patients. You can read the first one here and the second one here.

The background to a medical scandal

As I discussed in the first article, there is currently a coordinated media war against chronically ill and disabled people who live with ME. This is because of patients and supporters’ objections to PACE trial – a study which defined treatment for them.

The second article looked at one of the reasons why this media war is happening. Now, here’s what I believe is the most important narrative. It’s exactly what PACE trial has done to many people living with ME – and those chronically ill people not living with it.

As I previously wrote for The Canary:

For decades (and often still to this day), the medical profession has not properly recognised it. People living with ME have been disbelievedstigmatised, given incorrect treatment, or told it’s ‘all in their heads’.

But there are effects of the PACE trial on chronically ill and disabled people that are not often discussed. They can be absolutely devastating.

Diagnostic chaos

Firstly, I think the issue of misdiagnosis by medical professionals is a massive one. As I’ve previously written, my girlfriend Nic was parked with a fibromyalgia diagnosis for years. But I don’t think she’s alone.

Research shows that between 2001 and 2013, diagnoses of ME/CFS fell by nearly five percentage points. During the same period, diagnoses of fibromyalgia increased by nearly six percentage points, sharply increasing around the time PACE trial was introduced:

diagnoses incidence.png

Coincidence? Make your own minds up.

Moreover, diagnoses of fibromyalgia are highest among the poorest in society. For CFS, they’re the lowest:

IMD Fibro CFS.jpg

For me, this is due to several factors.

Rampant classism

Firstly, many people in the poorest communities don’t have the privilege [pdf] of further/higher education to be able to get their heads around complex medical conditions (NB. “Lowest SES quintile group” below = poorest in society):

education one.png

education two.png

Trust me, this has nothing to do with intelligence and everything to do with your postcode. The dickhead Boris Johnson and his private schooling is a prime example of a person being educated beyond their intelligence. But when you haven’t been taught how to analyse complex pieces of writing or interpret reports, it puts you at a medical disadvantage.

Then factor in time poverty (more prevalent in working class/poor communities) and people often don’t have the head space, either. So, people will simply trust what a doctor tells them, never questioning their diagnoses. You can count parents and children in this, as well – who are often told their agony and symptoms are just ‘growing pains’.

But what would make for interesting reading would be a study into how many people, previously diagnosed with fibromyalgia, but who stepped outside establishment medicine for help, ended up finding out they were actually living with diseases and illnesses like connective tissue disorders like Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, Lyme, Lupus, Cranciocervical and Atlantoaxial Instability – and, of course, ME – just to name a few.

Medical arrogance

From the other direction, you have an arrogant medical classism and misogyny from some doctors. ‘They’re poor, so they must be stupid. What do they know?’ Exhibit one, m’lud:

Google search medical degree

But you also have an ingrained belief in what they’re taught. It’s this unflappable trust in ‘science’ (even when the science has been repeatedly disproved, like PACE trial has) which leads to blanket dismissals of certain illnesses and misdiagnoses of others. It’s where the term ‘Zebra‘ comes from, in part. It’s because medical professionals think that the simplest diagnosis is the correct one:

When you hear the sound of hooves, think horses, not zebras…

I’m sure that two of PACE trial’s chief proponents, Professor Michael Sharpe and Simon Wessely, are not bothered by this. After all, they seem to buy into the idea that medical professionals are ‘holier than thou’. Far holier of course than Zebras, Nightingales, Spoonies and the Millions Missing.

But the outward ripple effect of PACE trial for people living with ME is never considered either. It’s one that can create tidal waves, threatening to engulf them.

Public disorder

Outside of the medical profession, the implication from PACE that people can ‘think their pain better’ and ‘exercise to reduce symptoms’ can be catastrophic. Because, when social services get involved and deem that a parent’s or child’s illness is ‘all in their heads’ the results can be devastating, as the ME Association reported.

Please don’t try and tell me this is isolated, because it’s not. I can name two mothers on my estate alone that had social services involved because of chronic illness. Moreover, the ME Association report just deals with people who have ME diagnoses. I dread to think how many undiagnosed cases of ME have been implicated in child protection issues.

This is an issue that’s probably worse in working class and poor communities. Research has shown [pdf, p3] that 60% of child welfare interventions happen in the bottom 20% most deprived communities. How many of these families have mis/undiagnosed illnesses?

This same issue reverberates around other public bodies like the education system and transport. Hands up if you’re living with ME and been told to move from the priority seating on a bus? The notion of ‘invisible illness’ and the prejudice around it has been compounded/played into by PACE trial. When doctors think it’s psychological, you can imagine what the rest of society thinks. Including families.

Family issues

Many people already struggle to explain to family members, friends and their community just what the disease is and how it affects them. To then try and explain that a treatment for a physical disease is talking therapy? It again just compounds the notion that it’s ‘all in a person’s head’. Think yourself better, you pathetic hypochondriacs.

I’d say in my experience, this problem is again worse for working class and poor sick and disabled people. We’re back to the issues of further/higher education and time poverty again.

But in the cosseted world that Sharpe, ‘Sir’ Wessley (knighted for his establishment forelock-tugging contribution to psychology) and the rest of them live in, the socioeconomic intersections of PACE trial have probably never entered their over-educated, under-intelligent heads.

This issue is then compounded by another one.

Liar liar?

The results for a patient of both CBT and GET are highly subjective. How much better does talking about it make you feel? Are the exercises making your pain less? Try as the PACE trial authors might, there is no hard and fast measurements of these.

So, once again we’re back to the ripple effect with people’s family, friends and communities. If people have cancer and it doesn’t work, you can blame the chemotherapy. A worsening for AIDS patients can be put down to their body’s unresponsiveness to anti-viral medication.

But if someone living with ME doesn’t improve from CBT and GET? Who’s to blame? Invariably it’s the patient, because they’re not ‘engaging with the therapy’, or not ‘working hard enough’ on the GET. This is because there’s no other entity involved in both ‘therapies’, except the practitioner and the patient. And the former can’t be wrong, naturally. So – you’re not trying, you worthless scroungers.

Not that this notion would have entered the heads of the arrogant PACE trial authors. Their own self-assured, messiah-like narcissism only orbits one world: their own.

Amateur dramatics

I previously described the media war over PACE trial and professor Michael Sharpe as his “troll drama”. It is a drama. One he and the Science Media Centre (SMC) have scripted. One he and the SMC are directing. And one he is starring in.

For someone who claims he gets “abuse” from patients online, Sharpe is never off his Twitter – often searching out threads where’s he’s been mentioned but where his handle hasn’t been included.

But ultimately, Sharpe, in his privileged, well-heeled world is a disgrace to the medical profession for saying he’s the one being abused. If he can’t handle anger, criticism and concern from patients and their advocates (“activists” as the media circus would call them), then he’s in the wrong job. Make decisions about the lives of millions of people? Don’t do it if you don’t want a backlash if it’s proven your decisions are fundamentally flawed.

It runs deeper than this, though. The arrogant dogmatism of the PACE trial authors, who can’t possibly be questioned by patients, has extended to fellow medical professionals like Dr Emma Reinhold and MPs like Carol Monaghan. Caught in the crossfire for daring to break rank from the establishment narrative.

Lives destroyed. And for what?

Ultimately, though, this is about people. It’s about lives that have been ruined. This is about people effectively left to rot. It’s about abuse, distress, anger and neglect. This is about people who may have had relationships ruined, have self-harmed our possibly even attempted to take their own lives.

But it’s also about a medical profession that in some quarters believe they are god-like. That they should rule over their patients, without question. And that their patients should be grateful and servile for having the privilege of their presence in their lives.

Bollocks to that. PACE trial and its authors are a disgrace to the medical profession, causing misery on an untold number of people’s lives.

If this makes me an ‘abusive troll’, so be it. If the truth hurts the PACE trial authors that much, maybe they should try some CBT and GET. After all, what’s good for the goose…

I am no longer writing for The Canary, due to my partner’s chronic illness. You can read about that here. But if you like my work any gifts/donations to keep it going are gratefully accepted below. Thank you.
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