Hi to everyone reading this.
Further to a discussion with the Canary leadership team I have an announcement to make.
From Friday 8 February I am formally not writing on a regular basis for The Canary anymore. I will be continuing to do the podcast weekly and accompanying music features.
The reasons for this are complicated – but actually very simple. My partner Nicola is chronically ill, as many of you know. Before we got together she had previously been told her illnesses were ‘all in her head’ and mental health-related, even to the point that professionals sectioned her under the Mental Health Act when she was desperate for support. She was not living with any mental health issues. When we met she had been given a Fibromyalgia diagnosis (which, in my opinion, doesn’t exist – it’s a parking diagnosis/bullshit illness when there’s actually other things going on).
Since we met, and pushed the medical profession to take her seriously, she’d now living with:
►Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos/Hypermobility Spectrum Disorder.
►Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME).
►Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS).
►Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome.
►Non-epileptic tonic clonic seizures.
►Deformities in her left foot and leg.
►Suspected Craniocervical Instability.
There has been a noticeable worsening in her overall health over the past year, and the time for pussy-footing around this has ended.
The long and the short of it is we have taken steps, many through the private health route because the NHS is essentially useless, to begin trying to improve these conditions. Some of these have treatment options if you ignore the politically and corporate-motivated mainstream medical profession. Because essentially under the NHS, Nicola has already exhausted NICE recommended treatments, all having proved ineffective.
She has given up parental responsibility for her son for a period of time, as she is too unwell to give him the support he needs. Plus he has witnessed her ill-health from a young age and it will give him some much needed respite.
But for me, the current situation with my writing for The Canary and Nicola’s health is unsustainable. I cannot write the amount I need/want and give her the support she needs to try and improve her health. One thing had to give – and if push comes to shove it will be work.
So, to that end, I am stopping writing for a period of time.
Nicola needs my full support, and that’s what she is going to get, regardless of my ‘career’ (which many of you know was never a planned move by me, it just fell into my lap by accident, so I’m not precious about it). I have essentially been performing the role of a full time carer for over a year. I have to cook every meal, do the housework, arrange Nicola’s appointments, support her travelling to them, speak on her behalf at them, manage our finances, supervise her with a complex range of tablets – all of this while also writing around 15 articles a week, recording and editing a podcast on my own, recording the Topple Galloway show, caring for a 12-year-old child and supporting my mother who has dementia.
I am confident in both mine and her strength and abilities, but also those of the medical professionals we are now dealing with, that we now have some of the right diagnoses. But I’m also now focused on trying to improve her health if possible.
If this does happen, she can start to live her life properly for the first time. As I think with all impairments and illnesses, she has the right to do whatever she wants with her life without any pressure or anyone telling her what to do. To that end, once her health is improved, I’ll be returning full time to allow her to follow whatever paths she chooses in this world, without the pressure of the system and state telling her she has to find work. She has sacrificed enough, and been appallingly treated over the years, that she deserves to be as free as she wishes from the shackles of this disgusting system we live under.
So, that’s it. If you have story ideas please email firstname.lastname@example.org but I’ll still be about on social media, so feel free to tag me in things/DM/whatever.
There are a few people who I’d like to thank for the support – but they’ll know who they are. There are others who I’d like to extend a ‘fuck you’ to, as many people and groups have essentially dropped Nicola like a hot potato or betrayed her when she needed them most. As Mariah Carey said in the song Petals:
So many I considered closest to me
Turned on a dime and sold me
Although that knife was chipping away at me
They turned their eyes away
And went home to sleep…
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